From Chest X-Rays to Cheers: AI Just Got a Whole Lot More Medicinal

Vol 10 - Evelyn's Weekly Martini Memo

Suzanne’s Out. But I’ve Got AI, X-rays, and Gin.

Darlings, just because Suzanne decided to skip town for a little R&R (Rest & Reinvention, obviously), doesn’t mean the news stops — and neither do I.

So here I am, perched at the kitchen counter in curlers and couture, sipping something lavender-hued and possibly illegal in three states, reporting live on AI’s latest leap into your lymph nodes.

Let’s start with the headline: Google has officially dropped MedGemma like it’s a limited-edition Birkin, and suddenly your phone may be smarter than your general practitioner.

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🧬 Medical Marvels, But Make It Sexy

Let’s get one thing straight: I can’t read an X-ray, unless it’s a martini glass lit from below. But apparently, MedGemmacan. And not just one of them — oh no — we’re talking multiple AI models that can diagnose, analyze, summarize, and sass their way through medical records like a nosy aunt at Thanksgiving dinner.

There’s a 4B and a 27B model. Don’t worry, that’s not bra sizes — it’s brain power. These digital darlings are trained to do everything from analyzing chest X-rays to identifying skin conditions to probably diagnosing that rash you keep Googling.

And the kicker? The smaller version runs on mobile phones. That’s right. You can now carry around the diagnostic IQ of a radiologist in the same pocket you keep your lip balm and your secrets.

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🩻 Accuracy So Good It’s Rude

Now here’s where I had to sit down (and not just because my gin kicked in): MedGemma’s X-ray reports were accurate enough for patient care 81% of the time.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve had human doctors that were less than 81% accurate — and they weren’t free, customizable, or able to live inside my phone next to Candy Crush.

Some hospitals are already customizing it — one even used it to understand traditional Chinese medicine. Another trained it for urgent X-rays. And if Evelyn knows anything, it’s that urgency and chest pressure don’t pair well with a 3-week wait for results.

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🧠 What’s MedSigLIP? Besides a Great Drag Name.

Google also released something called MedSigLIP, and while that sounds like a lost boy band member, it’s actually a tool designed to read medical images and understand the accompanying text.

Which means it can help your apps connect the dots between what’s seen and what’s said — something my ex-husband never figured out. 🙄

And it’s lightweight. As in, it doesn’t need some mega machine in a sterile lab to function. No sir — it runs on the kind of computer I use to edit cat memes and burn casseroles.

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🌍 Why This Actually Matters

Now let me slide off my barstool and get serious for a moment. This kind of open-source, accessible tech is a game changer.

It levels the playing field for smaller clinics, rural hospitals, and underfunded health teams. It lets developers build and own tools that protect patient data and customize functionality to real-world use.

This is what it looks like when AI actually serves us. Not with creepy love letters or plagiarized Picasso portraits — but with tools that literally save lives.

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👀 But Let’s Be Clear: It's Still Not a Doctor, Darling.

Just a gentle reminder from your martini-fueled medical correspondent: These models are for developers. They’re helpers, not healers. Don’t go tossing your doctor out the window just yet because your Pixel gave you a second opinion on that mole.

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🍸 The Boss Gin Summer Spritz 🍸
The only spritz worthy of a woman who runs her business like a Fortune 500… in lipstick and leopard print.

Ingredients:

• 2 oz Boss Dry Gin (because bosses don’t do basic) this Gin is British

• 1 oz elderflower liqueur (for just the right amount of sweet persuasion)

• 3 oz sparkling rosé (because champagne is a lifestyle, not a luxury)

• 1 oz fresh grapefruit juice (zesty, bold, like your DMs)

• Splash of soda water (for sparkle, not dilution)

• Grapefruit slice and mint sprig for garnish

• Ice, preferably from that fancy fridge with crushed and cubed

How to Make:

1. Fill a wine glass with ice while listening to Beyoncé remind you who runs the world.

2. Pour in your gin, elderflower liqueur, and grapefruit juice.

3. Top with sparkling rosé and a splash of soda.

4. Stir gently — like you're negotiating a brand deal but don’t want to sound too excited.

5. Garnish with a grapefruit slice and a sprig of mint.

6. Sip like you just sold out your program before launch.

💋 Pairs well with: Reading Evelyn’s weekly newsletter, plotting your AI enablement glow-up, or casually ignoring your ex’s “u up?” text.

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💬 Evelyn’s Final Word:

Google’s cooking up AI with bedside manners and diagnostic precision, and here I am still trying to figure out where I left my readers.

But one thing’s for sure — with open-source tools like MedGemma, the future of medicine is going to be less about “waiting on hold” and more about instant insights in your handbag.

Now if someone would just make an AI that tells me where I put my damn purse...

🖋️ Yours in techno-health and twisted humor,
Evelyn ~ Your slightly tipsy, always informed AI housewife